


PokeVengers Universe

by Fic_Request_Blog



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Angst, Feelings, Fluff, Other, Short Stories, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fic_Request_Blog/pseuds/Fic_Request_Blog
Summary: This is the collection of Pokemon inspired works for the Avengers. This is and will always be a work in progress, so feel free to ask for stories about specific characters or anything at all. I love these guys.





	1. Index of Pokemon

Poke!Vengers Index/Reference

Alright, so I decided to start writing a Pokémon verse for the Avengers. Because I can. Anyways, this is the reference/index for the stories that come up in the verse so you all aren't going, who is that? What is that? ect. 

I totally encourage any use of these specific teams/names, you just have to send me a link of the story/drawing/ect... because I want to read them.  I'm assuming a lot here thinking you all might write using this XD Oh, and you can write your own origin stories or anything at all, I want to read all your ideas because I ship everyone and love everything. Character deaths are hard on me, but I can take it XD.

Anyways, a few things so you can understand this a bit better:  
Next to the name of the Pokémon is its gender. 

Next to that is when/where it was gotten/who gave it to the person (before: before the movie setting/any other defining part of their life. After: after the movie plot.) There will be origin stories following close on this thing's heels. (from _____: means that person/organization actually gave them that Pokémon). 

There is then a line of random information to kick-start ideas.

The Pokémon are listed in order: first to last of when they were gotten. 

I'm sure you all will figure this out XD

Oh, and I realize I left out evolutions and pre-evolutions. That would be because in my head they were never that evolution/pre-evolution while any member of the Avengers knew that Pokémon.

 

Phil Coulson: Agent (He lives! But, if you write him dead, I still want the link T.T)  
Eevee- Espeon: Lady (female) (before)  
Can create telepathic links. Mostly just with Phil.  
Machoke- Machamp: Duke (male) (from Marines)  
Enjoys fights. Distrusts Natasha. Likes Steve, especially for sparring.  
Taillow- Swellow: Rogers (male) (from SHIELD)  
Named after Steve. Is serious, but is soft for Clint and Phil.  
Sandshrew- Sandslash: Lance (male) (from SHIELD)  
Is loyal to SHIELD over Phil, but not by much. Dislikes rain.  
Lapras: Kelly (female) (after)  
Incredibly affectionate. Likes fruit.

 

Clint Barton: Hawkeye (Yeah, they're named after USA presidents. He would.)  
Pidgey- Pidgeotto- Pidgeot: Washington (male) (during circus)  
Sarcastic like Clint. Dislikes the color red (aka. Iron Man XD)  
Onix- Steelix: Roosevelt (male) (while wandering)  
Dislikes heights. Totally loves Washington. We don't know why.  
Grimer- Muk: Johnson (male) (during SHIELD mission)  
Obsessed with Clint. Likes hugs. Will eat anything.  
Hoothoot- Noctowl: Wilson (female) (from SHIELD)  
Obsessed with Clint. His night eyes. Not the brightest...  
Horsea- Seadra: Kennedy (male) (after)  
Very helpful. Pretty mellow. 

 

Steve Rogers: Captain America  
Vulpix- Ninetales: Freedom (male) (before)  
Nearly always happy. A klutz until it evolves.  
Hitmonchan: Might (male) (from Bucky)  
Very protective of Steve. Doesn't approve of shenanigans.  
Absol: Vigil (male) (during army)  
Detects natural disasters. Only listens to Steve.  
Poliwag- Poliwhirl- Poliwrath: Peace (female) (during army mission)  
Surly disposition. Doesn't really like Steve, but sticks around.  
Dratini- Dragonair- Dragonite: Valor (female) (from SHIELD)  
Generally amiable but has a wicked temper. Likes Phil.

 

Nick Fury: Director  
Skarmory: Storm (male) (during SHIELD mission, before Director)  
Only loyal to Fury. Tends to fly beside helicarrier or just hold on.  
Houndoom: Blaze (male) (during SHIELD mission, before Director)  
Search and Rescue. Hangs with Hill's Poochyana  
Gyrados: Torrent (female) (before)  
Fury's most relaxed Pokémon. Really likes hot springs.  
Aron- Lairon- Aggron: Metal (male) (from Hill)  
Loves playing fetch. Fury secretly babies it.  
Milotic: Mystic (female) (after)

 

Natasha Romanov: Black Widow  
Misdreavus- Mismagius: Miss (female) (before)  
Enjoys scaring people by popping through walls. Terrorizes Clint.  
Roselia: Rose (female) (before)  
Likes dancing. Generally stays in Dr. Banner's Hulk room.  
Nidoran- Nidorina- Nidoqueen: Barb (female) (from SHIELD)  
Motherly. Hits people who are being stupid/jerks (aka Tony+ Clint)  
Gastly- Haunter- Gengar: Phantom (male) (during SHIELD mission)  
Wimp. Doesn't like to scare people.  
Sneasel- Weavile: Shadow (female) (during SHIELD mission)  
Tends to keep to itself. Doesn't really trust anyone but Natasha.

 

Tony Stark: Iron Man  
Magnamite- Magnaton: Sticky (male) (before)  
Rather clumsy. Gets itself into trouble a lot.  
Aipom- Ambipom: Bananas (female) (from parents)  
Probably Tony's most helpful Pokémon. Very hyperactive.  
Beldum- Metang- Metagross: Bumper (male) (before)  
Used as a floating table a lot. Pretty chill. Also used as a chair.  
Skitty: Kitty (female) (from Pepper)  
Wreaks havoc on clothes. Loves to play. Likes everyone.  
Minum: Mani (male) (from Pepper)  
Paired with Pepper's Plusle. Most well-behaved of his Pokémon.

 

Maria Hill: Second in Command  
Poochyena- Mightyena: Tyke (male) (from parents)  
Fiercely protective of Hill. Doesn't like Tony.  
Gloom- Vileploom: Pearle (female) (before)  
goes undercover a lot with cameras and a mic. Loves Hill.  
Nincada- Ninjask: Hardy (male) (from SHIELD)  
Loyal to SHIELD first, but won't leave Hill. Dislikes water.  
Seviper: Cedric (male) (from Sitwell)  
Moody. Tends to fight with Sitwell's sentret.  
Cubone- Marowak: Nia (female) (during SHIELD mission)  
Quiet. Enjoys being read to. Incredibly intelligent.

 

Dr. Bruce Banner: Hulk  
Squirtle- Warturtle- Blastoise: Tray (male) (before)  
Pretty chill. Just hangs around until Bruce gets in trouble.  
Gardevoir: Jade (female) (before)  
Can relax the Hulk the fastest. Enjoys being with Phil's Espeon.  
Spinda: Bonny (female) (from Tony)  
Generally confused but happy. Usually stays in Bruce's quarters.  
Sunkern- Sunflora: Bell (female) (from Pepper)  
Genial. Loves Bruce. Bruce kind of just carries it around all the time.  
Abra- Kadabra- Alakazam: Clade (male) (from Phil)  
Quiet. Bruce uses it for hypnosis experiments/therapy. 

 

Thor Odinson: Prince of Asgard  
Pichu- Pikachu- Raichu: Sparky (female) (before)  
Energetic and happy. Tends to ride on Thor's shoulders.  
Elekid- Elektabuzz: Flash (male) (before)  
Likes pairs. Short-circuits things a lot.  
Jolteon: Bolt (male) (before)  
Incredibly energetic. Tends to ignite dry/dead plants.  
Mareep: Fluffy (male) (from Jane)  
Calms Thor when he's angry. Sleeps next to Thor.  
Whismur- Loudred- Exploud: Thunder (male) (after)  
Dislikes people arguing. When upset, it destroys parts of the tower.

 

Jasper Sitwell: That Other Agent Guy  
Castform: Casper (male) (before)  
Sitwell's weather forecast. Very timid but enjoys being with people.  
Sentret- Furret: Snippy (female) (from SHIELD)  
Fights with Hill's Seviper. Sitwell's alarm clock and watchdog.  
Gligar- Gliscor: Rosco (male) (from SHIELD)  
Kind of a dork. Tends to get tangled in things.  
Rattata- Raticate: Ellie (female) (during SHIELD mission)  
Generally dislikes everyone but Sitwell. Bites Natasha if given chance.  
Tentacool- Tentacruel: Samson (male) (during SHIELD mission)  
Pops out of its Pokeball at bad times a lot. Irrationally likes Fury.

 

Pepper Potts: The PA  
Meowth- Persian: Grace (female) (from parents)  
Enjoys petting. Will gnaw lazily on anyone in reach.  
Chansey- Blissey: Amira (female) (from college friend)  
Cooks. Takes care of sick people (won't let sick Avengers leave bed)  
Chimecho: Melody (male (from Tony)  
Can calm anyone down. Hangs in Pepper's office.  
Wurmple- Silcoon- Beautifly: Charlotte (female) (from Tony)  
Pepper loves it. Silcoon sat on her office desk until it evolved.  
Plusle: Nani (female) (from Tony)  
Paired with Tony's Minum. Pepper tends to charge her phone with it.

 

Peggy Carter: Lieutenant  
Growlithe- Arcanine: Lily (female) (before)  
Protective. Brave. Really liked Steve.  
Torchic- Combusken- Blasiken: Ember (female) (from parents)  
Has a temper. Enjoys sparring. Has a will of steel.  
Ponyta- Rapidash: Torch (female) (from a ranch)  
Can be spooked, but is pretty solid. Peggy rides bareback.  
Magmar: Inferno (male) (from the army)  
Steadfast. Will systematically take out all opposition.  
Larvitar- Pupitar- Tyranitar: Spud (male) (during army)  
Loves Peggy. Protective. Playful.

 

Jane Foster: The Astronomer  
Snubull- Granbull: Nuka (female) (from parents)  
Foul tempered. Likes bones.  
Togepi- Togetic- Togekiss: Love (female) (from Selvig)  
Bubbly personality. Loves being carried.  
Spearow- Fearow: Elsy (female) (from Phil)  
Likes Phil. Messenger between Jane and the Avengers/SHIELD  
Electrike- Manectric: Ash (male) (from Thor)  
Likes Thor. Enjoys running. Also likes Darcy.  
Drowzee- Hypno: Oswald (male) (after)  
Completely chill. Protects Jane from home invasions (aka robbers)

 

Darcy Lewis: The New Employee  
Piplup- Prinplup- Empoleon: Bubbles (male) (before)  
A menace to all except Darcy. Fights with Azumarill.  
Azuril- Marill- Azumarill: Cutey (female) (from parents)  
A menace to all except Darcy. Fights with Empoleon.  
Krabby- Kingler: Crabby (male) (before)  
Sweetest disposition ever. Breaks up fights.  
Igglybuff- Jigglypuff- Wigglytuff: Tunes (female) (from Jane)  
A menace to all except Darcy. Can't sing worth crap.  
Teddiursa- Ursaring: Sweety (female) (from Tony)  
A menace to all except Darcy. Likes swimming.

 

Loki Laufeyson: Exile of Asgard  
Ditto: Mirage (female) (before)  
Loves Loki. Imbued with magic so it can make perfect doubles.  
Sableye: Ink (male) (before)  
Mischievous. Helps Loki out of any bad situations.  
Duskull: Shade (female) (before)  
Genial. Doesn't mean any harm. Loki's very protective of it.  
Shuppet: Wraith (male) (during imprisonment after the movie)  
Kind of moody. Generally dislikes everyone except Loki.  
Darkrai: Haze (male) (after)  
Increadibly strong. The powerhouse of Loki's Pokémon.

 

Peter Parker: Spiderman  
Spinarak- Ariados: Longlegs (male) (before)  
Rides on Peter's chest until it evolves. Prefers the dark.  
Chikorita- Bayleaf- Meganium: Blossom (female) (before)  
Loves to clean. Likes to help Aunt May. Stays with Aunt May usually.  
Yanma- Yanmega: Glass (male) (before)  
Phil likes it. Sits still for long periods of time.  
Ekans- Arbok: Slithers (male) (from Tony)  
Detests Peter. Tends to slide under furniture and stay there.  
Pineco: Spike (male) (after)  
Explodes randomly. Sits in Pete's bedroom. Jarvis hates it.  



	2. First PokeVengers Drabbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the first wave of drabbles I have.

Phil met Eevee for the first time in a dumpster. Apparently 13 year-old kids who talk back to 15 year-olds weren't the only ones getting thrown in. It was a bit of a revelation for him.

Luckily the bullies hadn't put rocks on the lid (this time) and it was only a matter of climbing out while hitting as few of his new bruises as possible. Getting the little eevee out was not so simple.

From his new vantage point on his tip-toes, peering over the side of the dumpster, Phil could clearly see that it had a broken leg. With a bit of encouragement, he was able to coax it over to the side and lift it out. Tucking his fingers under it's belly, he plucked it out, gently placing it on the ground.

"There you go. You should go home so you can get your leg fixed."

The eevee sat, looking up at him.

Phil started walking home, more of hobbling really, checking over his shoulder to see if the eevee had moved. It had, just not in the right direction. Well, at least it was trying to.

It limped up to where he had stopped and sat back down.

"Eevee."

A brief mental battle commenced. Phil's conscience versus his instinct to survive (aka, his mother would kill him).

His conscious won out.

Picking it up, Phil carried the eevee home.

Surprisingly, his mother didn't kill him. In fact, she was rather excited.

She cleaned him up and then they took the short ride to the vet. The doctor said the eevee would be fine, but that she should be allowed outside for a while.

"She has such a nice disposition. What's her name?"

Phil fidgeted, "Uh, I don't know. I just found her today in...in the park."

"Well, I think she'll make a wonderful companion. Have a nice day!"

His mother took his hand, "Time to go!"

"Okay. Thanks, Nurse Jenny."  
```````````````````````````  
So, it wasn't until Phil was sitting on the end of his bed watching eevee make a nest out of his blankets that he remembered she needed a name. What to call a little lady?

Oh.

"Lady."

And with that, Phil had his first Pokémon. And the next time he found himself in a dumpster, he felt a little a little guilty for feeling happy that he asn't alone in there. Just a little.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fury's in a dark hole from hell. He's in at least a foot of muck and his comms are down. Crawling through sewers shouldn't be a part of his job description. He's got what he was sent in for but at this point he'd be willing to give it up to see the sun.

When he does finally see the first hints of light seeping through the darkness, he checks his bag just in case. The files are still there.

It's a well. A deep, slick-walled, disgusting well.

So much for that.

"Skree..."

Fury freezes, turns around, and watches two beady eyes watching him. In the slim light, the outline of a bird comes into view, covered in mud. The wings chink.

Steel feathers. Skarmory.

Looking up at the grey sky high above him, Fury glances at the bird. Flying type. He takes the chance.

Edging over slowly, steadily, he offers, "I'll help you out, if you help me out."

"Skree."

It takes a hideous amount of time, but he manages to get enough of the stuff off that the bird was able to flap the rest off.

"Skree!"

Shuffling to the opening of the well, the skarmory spread its wings, glancing back at him as it waited. Fury shrugged, what were a few cuts compared to being stuck down in this hell hole?

He clambered on rather awkwardly, but the skarmory didn't seem to mind much for their short flight out. 

Storm stayed with Fury even after that and their relationship had been mutually beneficial ever since.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint preferred to get away from the circus in the evenings after acts. It was always interesting to explore where they'd stopped off. At least it was better than the tent.

One of those evenings found Clint in a field, just walking as he watched the sun set. A bit of commotion sent him wandering a little ways to find two boys pelting a pair of pidgeottos with rocks.

They weren't moving.

"Hey! Hey! Leave them alone!"

The kids ran off and by the time Clint got there it was too late. He buried them then climbed into a tree and cried. After a while he started to register chirping beside him. He discovered the baby pidgey with the rock in its nest on the bough above him and he just knew its parents weren't coming for it ever again.

So he took it. He named him Washington because he was Clint's first Pokémon and he could never seem to win any battles.

But he was a survivor. Like Clint.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Washington became a part of Clint's act until the night the circus burnt down. They watched the flames light up the sky like some sort of sick fireworks show for a while, but nobody noticed the kid and his bird slip into the night of sirens and shouts.

They wandered for maybe six months. It was tough, but at least they weren't alone. Clint got a lot of odd jobs and eventually they ended up in Chicago by rail.

The weather was atrocious. It was November and the hail felt like bullets. They ducked into an alcove in front of a store, Washington seated in Clint's shivering arms.

Clint cracked a smile, "Well, at least you don't seem to be cold."

The pidgey tried to spread its wings over him, but it could tell at this rate Clint was going to freeze. His lips were already blue.

Clint was starting to drift in and out of consciousness when he began to feel warm again. Feathers shuffled against his face, brushing away the chill. Snuggling into the heat, he fell asleep.  
```````````````````````````  
"Caw."

"Mmph."

"Caw!"

"Mfff...Washington...no. I'm trying to sleep. Go away."

"Caw."

"Ugh, fine. Fine! Stop pecking me!."

Shoving the beak out of his side, Clint sat up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, "Geez, always so pushy."

He turned to glare at the pidgey...but it wasn't a pidgey sitting next to him. The pidgeotto gave him another peck for good measure.

"Washington?"

"Caw."

"Oh. Uh...Wow...Okay. You evolved?"

He managed to give Clint an eye roll, "Caw."

Clint shoved him, "Well, it's good to know you haven't changed at all, you ass. Come on, let's go find some food."

When he got up Washington head butted him, "Hey! What?"

"Caw!"

"Oh, no. No. You are not getting carried anymore. No. No. Stop looking at me like that! No! Oh, fine. Get on. Jerk."

Washington gave a satisfied "caw" as they set off for the day.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phil woke up, but kept himself still, pretending to stay asleep. Testing the ties around his wrists, he tried to reach out for Espeon. He could feel that she wasn't in her pokeball.

The mental link clicked and the room he was in appeared in his head behind his blindfold. Lady was above him, peering out of an air vent.

The last thing he could remember was the meeting with the foreign ambassador from Thailand. They'd been attacked, gunshots through the window. He'd dragged the secretary of state under the table with him. Men had stormed in through the window, killing the three aids and taking Phil, the ambassador, and the secretary. After that his memory went black.

He could 'see' the other two men in the room with him, but neither had woken yet. They'd probably left him alive because they thought he'd talk. He'd cave under torture. They obviously didn't know he was a marine.

Shouting erupted outside the room, rousing the two men with him. He didn't move. 

Flame licked under the door.

The door burst open, revealing a women with a pistol and a hard face.

Lady relaxed. Phil sat up straight.

"All clear, Sir. The twins are unharmed. Promise is with them."

She stomped in, checking over the rest of the room as a man stalked in, black cloak flying as flame billowed around him. He had coal-clack army boots and an eye patch.

"I want them out of here and back in Washington in 30 minutes. Blaze!"

A group of six black-clad figures stormed into the room, working to untie the secretary, ambassador, and Phil. A houndoom loped into the room, seating itself next to the man.

Phil's blindfold was finally removed and he heard Lady drop the screen of the air vent as she cut their visual link, landing in the room behind him.

The houndoom didn't react, but the men did. Guns were unholstered faster than Phil could follow as his espeon walked to where he still sat, rubbing her head into his palm.

'Trust him. He will bring you closer to your goals.'

Phil leveled the cloaked man a hard look as Lady advised him, analyzing. Standing up, Phil nodded imperceptibly, straightening his suit as he stared the rather intimidating man in the eye, "Phil Coulson, Sir. Thank you for getting us out of here."

The man gave him a nod, "You're hired."

And Phil did the only thing he could do. He followed.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phil is having a really shitty day. Some laser shooting robots managed to break out of some lab in downtown Chicago and now he's in a firefight surrounded by civvies. His life is not going as planned.

At least Duke is having fun, he thought as his machoke rips one of the robots in half.

Lady appears beside him as Phil reloads his clip, tells him to give the man with the pidgeotto behind the car next to him a gun, and bounds off again.

"Hey!"

The man's already staring at him and easily catches the gun he's tossed, "Shoot the middle of their foreheads! It's where the control system is located!"

Phil sees the first few shots shakily connect, but after that the guy is dead on every time. With the way he's holding it, Phil realizes this guy has probably never used a gun before, he's just a good shot.

After clean up begins, Phil goes to reclaim his gun. The poor guy looks as though he thinks it'll explode in his hands. Espeon joins them as Phil takes the gun.

"You're a good shot."

"Yeah."

"Have you ever used a gun before?"

"No."

Phil stares at him, "Who are you?"

He hesitates, "...Clint Barton. Who's asking?"

Phil quirks up a small smile, "Phil Coulson. Thanks for the assistance."

They shake hands and part ways.

Phil has a feeling that it won't be their last meeting. Then again, it wouldn't hurt to make sure of that.

He calls Fury.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Chime."

Pepper slammed into her office, throwing her bag onto the desk and dropped into her chair.

"Chime."

"Melody, they're all so stupid! They can't do anything right!"

"Chime."

"It's like...it's like...like they're just morons!"

"Chime."

Her forehead clunked down against the table, "Ugh..."

"Chime."

"You're so beautiful, Melody."

"Chime."

"Melody, I love you so much."

"Chime."

"I love you so much. You're the only one who understands me, Melody. The only one."

"Chime."

She slumped against her desk completely and let out a sigh.

"Chime."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter was a complete menace to the Avengers' Tower. He left webs everywhere and people got caught so often Tony and Bruce had to create a spray that would remove them without damaging the walls (because Jarvis had had a fit with the last one).

Of course, it didn't help that Longlegs liked to join in on the fun too. The science bros had to create a completely separate spray for him. 

For Peter, the funniest part was when Longlegs evolved and they had to make yet another spray for those webs.

That week had been awesome.

However, it was a little embarrassing that they had to arm the police with the sprays.


	3. Clint PokeVengers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint Time!

He can't make it. He's not going to make it. The angle, the wind, the armor, the everything and this guy's got Phil by the throat and damn it, he can't make it.

He can't make the shot.

Thor and the Hulk aren't even there why hadn't they brought them and Iron Man's got about 30 people all around him and Natasha and Cap are trying to stop the bomb and he can't make the shot.

So he jumps.

The release of the bowstring is music to his ears as he watches the maniac crumple, Phil rolling back to his feet. Wind whips around Clint as he drops, somewhere around 50 floors to go, and he traces Iron Man's desperate arc with perfectly trained eyes.

Too slow.

He closes his eyes and vaguely wonders what asphalt felt like at terminal velocity. Maybe he wouldn't even feel it?

He certainly didn't think it'd feel like feathers.

"Caw"

Oh. Well. That explains that. He's really going to have to get something nice for Washington this time. The back he's lying on is a lot bigger than it should be. Clint realizes he's riding the back of a Pidgeot the same moment Washington lands next to Natasha, preening in satisfaction.

Rolling off, Clint grinned, "Awww, you evolved just to save me? I'm touched."

Landing on the roof he'd been fighting on, Tony laughs, popping his face guard up for a breath of cool air. He really does admire Phil's unflappableness. The way he's able to direct clean up even as one of the Avengers is being chased around by a Pidgeot pecking him while a large number of agents' views of the awesome Hawkeye are shattered is absolutely impressive. 

Phil probably already knew Clint was a dork.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes Clint wondered if being in SHIELD was actually worth it. Most of those times weren't really the best to be contemplating his employment (because circumstances bias him) but sometimes Clint indulged himself with the fantasy of spitting in Fury's face and ripping up his contract.

As he trudged through who-the-hell-knows what in the New York sewers (sewers! What the hell? He was Hawkeye! Mighty Avenger! ect. Why did he have to be the one down here?), Clint considered this to be one of those times. He really hoped the bastard he was following fell down, more than once.

At the moment, he was wondering how many times Phil would hit him if he placed an arrow in Fury's back on his way out (only a sedative, maybe a slight shock...). It probably wouldn't be worth it.

His musings were cut short as the shit (seriously) he was wading through around his left leg gave more resistance than it should have. Oh God, he really hoped that wasn't a body, he'd be buried in paperwork if it was.

Leaning with one hand up against the tunnel wall, Clint carefully lifted his leg. Eyes blinked back at him from his thigh. Clint very quietly, and very calmly, screamed his head off. The eyes stared up at him, looking for all the world like they were concerned for him.

Clint never realized how creepy it was to have eyes of an unknown creature that close to his crotch.

When it started to move up his leg, he seriously wondered if he had an arrow for this. Upon closer inspection as the thing oozed up his abdomen, Clint recognized it as a Grimer. Great.

From what he'd heard they didn't usually mean harm. So, now he had a Grimer perched on his back in the New York sewers during a manhunt. Fantastic.

It took him a good thirty minutes to locate the guy, backed up against a dead end and shaking horribly (probably because he looked like some hideous sewer monster). One good sedative and Clint was on his way up, dragging the guy behind him through the dark.

Yeah, SHIELD, all glory and splendor...

When he finally made it to the surface, Clint was greeted with mixed disgusted faces from the surrounding Avengers. He was going to do something horrible to them.

He gave them a sneer, "Here's your man."

Steve to him gingerly, pulling him the rest of the way out of the man-hole so Clint could clamber out himself. He stepped over to Phil, straight backed and livid, "Sir, I'd like to request a Pokeball, detox shower, and a week off."

The man nodded, face stoic, "Request granted. I'll have a transport with a ball here in 5."

Clint went and sat down, scowling hard at anyone who stared too long. The Grimer began making strange gurgling sounds as it seeped into his lap.

Well, at least he wasn't cold.

Natasha walked by with a laugh, "Clint, I think you might have something on your back there."

Yeah, he was going to quit and commit multiple homicides, not necessarily in that order. Maybe he'd have Grimer smother them all. He'd have to contemplate it.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They've got this crazy guy cornered in his Manhattan office building turned secret lair but he just kept eluding them from room to room. Talk about a good time to memorize blueprints. 

Phil's voice crackled over the comms, "Split up. He just ran into a large room with four entry points. Hawkeye, get Johnson to cover the other door. Captain, I want you in first. Hawkeye, Widow, you two right on his heels."

Steve burst through the first door, stumbling to a halt as he yelled out, "Wait! Bomb!"

They all winced at Phil's groan, Natasha and Clint freezing in their respective open doorways, Johnson still slowly oozing under his own door.

"Hahahaha! My plan worked! Come in, come in! You wouldn't want me to press this little button yet, now would you? It's too bad the rest of your little friends couldn't be here too, but I'll get them in time..."

While the caped weirdo continued rambling on about dis devious plans and diabolical deeds, Clint watched Johnson slide across the floor, pretty much just a purple puddle. Natasha gave him a quirked brow and Steve caught his eye with a tilted head, but all he could do was shrug.

Who knew what ran through his Grimer's...head...for lack of a better word.

"...and with your souls the great Baumet will grow in strength and the world will soon learn to tremble at his awesome might..."

The three Avengers continued to stare as the Grimer finally reformed right next to the bomb.

Clint figured out its intentions a second too late.

"Johnson!"

Snarling at the sudden interruption and intrusion, the guy pressed the button on the receiver in his hand, fleeing out a secret door behind him.

Then everything went to hell. Cap lunged for Natasha, shield outstretched in a pitiful attempt to cover her from the explosion, Johnson enveloped the bomb, and Clint dived out of his doorway.

They waited, seconds ticking by before Steve finally lowered his shield, just enough to look over the rim.

The Grimer sat in the middle of the room, bubbling and smoking quietly, a ball of light pulsing in its stomach as Johnson apparently absorbed the energy.

Clint hazarded a glance around the door a few moments later, wide eyed as his Grimer began to glow all over.

Natasha grinned, "That was convenient."

Mirroring her smile, Clint walked over to inspect his Muk, "Well, Johnson, this may be the first time you've ever done anything right. Good job."

"...So, was anyone planning on answering me?"

"Oh, Agent Coulson, sorry, what'd you ask", Steve asked sheepishly.

"Well, I was wondering why I have a criminal in handcuffs out here and the building hasn't exploded yet."

"Oh, uh, Johnson swallowed the bomb and evolved and there was a secret door. Oh, and I think Clint's going to need a detox shower."

"Thank you Captain. I think I could tell that from the yelling...mostly the cussing. Widow, please stop laughing at Hawkeye and help him. I'll have transport ready when you three get out here."

"Thanks, Captain America out."

Steve refocused on the other two Avengers with mild concern. At the rate of things, it was beginning to look like they'd all need showers... Well, he couldn't argue that Johnson did deserve a few...hugs...he just wish it'd settle with only Clint.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hawkeye, get out of there! The boat's engine is going to explode!"

Hurtling down another hallway, Clint growled, "Yeah, got that, Captain Obvious. Horrible noises and smoke, check."

He took the stairs up to the deck two at a time, ducking under the smoke already billowing out. It took him seconds to cross the deck, jump onto the rail, and leap, plunging into the clear, warm waters of the Red Sea.

Twisting, Clint managed to face the sea floor before the shock wave hit.

It wasn't as bad as he thought it'd be, just disorienting, but the piece of whatever that smashed into his head made up the difference.

He could still feel air in his lungs, a bit, more of a burn than anything. There was sand under his back and grass around him, bright green threading through his fingers and Clint didn't know where he was. He felt so light, so warm, so soft. Everything was hazy, like the air around him was thick...and the sunlight streaming down in such odd wavy patterns seemed so far away...

So warm...  
``````````

"...two, thr..."

"Come on-"

Clint took a breath, coughing up sea water as warm hands rolled him onto his stomach, onto someone's lap.

"Clint, talk to me, come on."

"I coughhack am trying to cough to coughcough empty my lungs. hackcoughcough One sec coughcough."

He could hear Phil's sigh of relief above him as he started to get ahold of himself, practically collapsing back onto apparently Phil's lap.

"Gee, you cough could've told me you wanted my head between your cough legs. Woulda been a lot easier than this. Cough."

"Agent Barton, do not make me regret resuscitating you."

Rolling back onto the sand, Clint grinned, "Oh? So now it's cough Agent Barton, is it? I see how it cough wait cough you? cough then we already hit cough first base? And cough I was asleep? Damn. Cough."

Coulson stared down at him with mild amusement, "What a shame, because giving mouth to mouth to a near corpse was oh so exciting."

"Hey! Cough. I can perform better when cough, I'm conscious!"

Rolling his eyes, Phil got to his feet, satisfied Clint was perfectly alright in the care of the rest of the Avengers.

"Aww! Cough. Baby come back!"

Clint's chuckles turned into more coughing which slowly subsided to mere grumbles. Tony's laughter at the whole situation only increased with Clint's coughing, at least until Steve hit him.

"I'm glad you're alright, Clint."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious. Were you the one who cough pulled me out?"

Bruce jogged over with Thor as Steve shrugged, "Not exactly. A Seadra dragged you up to the surface."

Nodding, Natasha pointed to the water, a bobbing head still in sight, "It's still around."

Clint lifted his head for a better vies, then let it plop back down, "Well, I guess I might have to go for a swim here in a little bit."

Tony laughed, "Yeah, because Agent is really going to let you go back out there."

Grinning, Clint shrugged, "Who knows? Maybe if I put my head between his legs again-"

The kick to his shin silenced him as Natasha went off to go help the cleanup crew. Clint turned his head, searching for the bobbing head, "Hey Cap, what do you think of the name 'Kennedy'?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hoot."

"Oh God, not again!"

"Whoo!"

"Shit, no! Leave me alone!"

Sitting at his desk in HQ, Phil very quietly sighed. How was it that even when he gave Clint a very simple night op, he always returned with some sort of problem? All he'd had to do was watch a target.

But now Clint was apparently crawling through his air vents again.

Dropping into Coulson's office, Clint dived behind his chair, peeking out at the Noctowl that had followed him with a venomous glare, "Phil. Help. It won't go away."

"Put it in its Pokeball."

"It won't stay in! It just keeps popping out!"

Laying down his pen, Coulson lobbed a glower at the Noctowl for this intrusion, "You're his now so stop messing about and get back in your Pokeball."

Ignoring Clint's spluttering, Phil snagged the ball out of his hand and captured the bird, passing it back without looking up, "You may leave now."

"Bu- W-Wait! I don't want this crazy thing!"

"Well, it seems attached to you so quit whining and pick a name for it. Oh, and on your way out, clean up the feathers."

He made sure not to pay attention to the angry muttering as Clint paced about his office. 

"I'm naming you Wilson because you're going to be useless and irritating."

Phil watched as the door shut before turning back to his paperwork.

Just another average day at SHIELD.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clint was seriously enjoying watching Tony clean bird poop off his Audi. He'd tried to get Dummy to do it but the first time the bot had nearly broken a window, Tony'd taken over, grumbling all the while.

Testing nets on Washington had been a major mistake on Tony's part. Speaking of which, the Pidgeot would seriously love to watch this.

Tony practically screamed when he heard a familiar "Caw!", whirling to spot Clint and the damn bird.

"You! You! Get out and away from my cars!"

Shrugging, Clint grinned, "Your fault. You deserve it."

"Bullshit! That menace has been shitting on my cars for a month now!" 

He started laughing, couldn't really help it, even when Tony started chasing them with an oh-so-scary socket wrench. Taking the stairs two at a time, Clint did thank his training.

It was helpful that he could run faster than Tony Stark.  



End file.
